Yesterday, my beloved and I celebrated our 28th anniversary, and it reminded me of the first time we met.

When anyone asks how we found each other, I will say, “I manifested him“, and simultaneously, he will say, “She stalked me“. The truth is that we were set up by a mutual friend on a blind date at a party. Our Cupid told me my date was freakishly tall, he was kind, and his name was David. So, I arrived at said party and made a beeline for the tallest guy in the room. But our friend failed to mention the setup to HIM—so stalking!

As a meet-cute story, it’s pretty adorable, but it ignores the manifesting. After surviving 7 years with a man who was much like the men before him, short on confidence and stature, I knew I needed to change my search parameters. For me and my two small girls, who were depending on me to make better choices.

I sat down and wrote out a list of traits I wanted in a partner: deep kindness, a good listener, patience, a love of children, and a minimum height of 6’2” to my 5’8”, so I could wear heels without emasculating my date (something I kept running into in the past, sigh).

But wait, there’s more! I didn’t just change the search parameters, I broadcasted them to all my friends and loved ones, “I want a tall guy with a big heart who won’t be intimidated by my big personality and my little kids.” And then I put it out of my head.

Because I was fine without a dude to complete me. I had two beautiful girls, a good job, great friends, and I could use a break from romance. And then, to my utter astonishment, the Universe delivered a wise-cracking softy who loved adventure, travel, and my daughters.

I don’t know if it was divine intervention, “She deserves a break; she’s had a helluva time”, or if it was finding the courage to do things differently. I suspect it was a little of both. After 28 years of “in sickness and in health”, we have never been closer or happier to be facing old age together!

I know that I would never have met my beloved if I had kept picking the same dude. I had to make a different choice. It’s the same for friends, jobs, and any habitual decision—if you want a different dish, you gotta’ change the recipe!

XO
Terri
P.S. What would you change if you had the courage? Email me HERE. If you are struggling with making choices, CLICK for help.